Posts Tagged ‘choices’

“News – Breaking news
Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2010
Wife allegedly changes wires on saw to shock hubby
The Associated Press

OLYMPIA, Wash. — Court papers allege that an Olympia woman, angry that her husband left her, tampered with his power tools so that he received a powerful electric shock. Carolyn Paulsen-Riat was booked Friday into the Thurston County Jail for investigation of third-degree assault, domestic violence, and second-degree malicious mischief. A judge released the 33-year-old woman on her own recognizance.

The Olympian newspaper reported that court documents said that on Jan. 1, the man was using a 220-volt table saw when he received the shock, knocking him to the ground. Thurston County sheriff’s deputies said the man did not need to go to a hospital.

In the documents, deputies said the woman told them she had reversed the wires on his power tools because she was angry he was leaving.”

And I contemplated all the terrible things I wanted to do to my ex-husband when it was all new and fresh. And I’m mostly glad I didn’t. Although that one might have been worth it.


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Sunday afternoons are usually spent entertaining the children.  This weekend that included sledding and playing online games (I’m now puppy sitting a virtual chihuahua during the week for the princess).  Usually towards mid afternoon, we start gearing up to take Mike’s children back to their mother’s house.

This weekend was no different.  As the afternoon wore on, we found ourselves sitting all sitting in the living room just enjoying each others’ company.  I happened to glance out the front door and then looked harder.  There was a squirrel on my front porch rail.  That’s not unusual in itself, because I have several squirrels that live in my trees.  What was unusual was what he had in his mouth.

I pointed it out to the children “Hey, what does that squirrel have in his mouth?  Is that a pancake?”  It was huge, compared to the squirrel.  I reached for my camera.  By the time I got to the front door, he had scurried up the tree, out of my sight.

I sat back down at my desk and we went back to deciding how to spend the rest of our time together.  Suddenly Derrick called out “There he is again.”  This time, the squirrel had half of a donut.

We watched as he scurried up the tree with the donut that was almost as big as he was.  I guess he was stocking up for the cold as well.
Ambitious Squirrel

We should all be so resourceful!

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I woke up this morning contemplating all the questions I get from the folks around me regarding the “Law of Attraction” that’s being marketed worldwide as the “way to get what you want”.

I’ve been told by a few people who interact with me that I’m good at using the Law of Attraction to get what I want.  Manifesting my desires or – more often, assisting others in manifesting theirs.

I break things down in my mind sometimes.  When I build a piece of furniture or a toy, I “see” it in my mind – then I draw a picture of what it will look like when I finish building it.  Then I take it apart mentally then on paper and determine the parts that are necessary to build it.  I almost always see the end before starting the project.

This morning while I was in the shower, an idea jumped into my mind and would not leave.  I felt inspired to share it here, where it might help others.
I share my ideas in stories and analogies much of the time.  This morning an analogy hit me right between the eyes and demanded that I write it up
And so, my friend Edward, this is for you.

The dynamic behind what I’ve always experienced is this – it’s the difference between “the check’s in the mail” and “direct deposit” from the Universe.

Let me expand on this a bit.  Mike gets paid on Fridays – his paycheck goes into the bank and becomes available to him on Friday morning.  He can often calculate based on the hours that he worked how much it will be.  He then anticipates how he will spend the amount he expects to have.  He’s usually pretty accurate.  And there is always a limit, based on the number of hours he’s worked.

My paychecks are sporadic – I live the life of commission sales and on the spot fixes.  I do everything reverse of what Mike does.  I set on my calendar what I need to cover and when it needs to be covered and then I take inspired action to ascertain that money is in the bank when the bill gets paid.

Sometimes I get a check right away when I do the work.  Sometimes I give companies payment terms and they pay me a piece in 30, 60, 90 days.  Sometimes they pay with a credit card and there’s a bit of it that goes out to the credit card company.  Sometimes I’ll be at a point of absolute destitution and an opportunity will arise that puts relatively large amounts of cash into my account.

The difference that came to me is the difference between EXPECTING and KNOWING.  I always know that something will happen that will get me what I need and want.   It’s a definitive difference in attitude and feeling.

I’m pretty sure it’s the same as the difference between believing and having faith.  I live in faith, absolutely.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that things will always fall into the right places in the tapestry of my life to create the beautiful vision that I’ve seen.  I don’t believe it, I know it.  Doubt and fear are not a part of it.  And I don’t question it.

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I woke up this morning after a night of interesting dreams and wondered to myself “What does it take for people to change perspective?”

I wandered onto Twitter and watched the feed for anything that would help me to answer this.  And I ran across a tweet that said “How I got where I am”.  I clicked on the link and found an Ezine.

The page was relatively plain – there was a picture of a woman at a shooting range, the caption underneath said “Another move toward regaining my equilibrium was learning to shoot – to kill if necessary.”

Intrigued, I read the article.  It horrified me.  If you’re interested in reading it, here’s the link:  http://www.openzine.com/aspx/Zine.aspx?IssueID=1493

After reading it, I realized that change has come to me mostly at times of great crises.  Or great crises came at times of change.  I believe the two are tied together on a deep level.

Most people get into a comfortable routine and stay there for much of their lives.  Mine has been uprooted and changed multiple times over the course of my lifetime.

Some of us reach the point of change gradually, starting out with a slight discomfort and maybe not actually taking action  until that slight discomfort becauses extreme.

What does it take to generate changes in your life?

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I have a book that sits on my desk. It’s covered in pink cloth and has little flowers scattered across it. In the front it says:

This Book Belongs to: Holly J Burdett
From Jeannie
Christmas 1983

I remember the excitement I had when she gave it to me. She said “This is for you to keep your writings in. I love your poetry, you should keep it up.”

I contemplated what I would put in the book. At that time, more so than recent years, I wrote a great many things. Poems and stories and dreams and lists….. I contemplated what the book would hold. Because it was a special gift from a good friend and coworker.  Then came my “parenting years”, unexpectedly I changed course.  What a wonderful journey that was!  Every now and then, I’d scribble something in my notebook or on a sheet of paper that I believed qualified to be in “the book”.  Then I would carefully transcribe it, clarifying it in the process.

I’ve shared the contents of the book with just a few people over the years. Periodically, I would open the book and share something that seemed appropriate for a particular time and place. I’ve been encouraged lately by my friends at Milagroworld to share some of my stories.  They tell me my stories are uplifting and insightful.

I’ve always been shy about doing so, but…. Today, I will begin my journey of sharing of insights and poems and “stuff” that I’ve gathered in my little pink book and beyond over the years.  It is my hope that you will find it useful and helpful in your own adventures.

Here’s how it begins – Page 1 of my collection:

Inside this book
of mine you’ll find

So many things
I’ve left behind
Sometimes they’re good
Sometimes they’re bad
Sometimes joyful
Others so sad
I put them here
inside this book
Where I can pick it
up and look….
I search through them
like buried treasure
Reread them all
and then remeasure
How they have each
Affected me
And made me what
I’ve come to be.

It’s a truism.  I find that, especially when I’m troubled, I write and write and write and then just put it away for a day or two.  When I look back on it later, it helps clarify for me what thoughts and feelings came from that moment of darkness.

And it’s also true that every choice I’ve made since the moment I began this life has led me to this moment.  And, in this moment, I am happy.  That’s not to say that there are no struggles in my world, there are.  It’s not to say that life is perfect.  It’s not.   But I am happy nonetheless.  It’s all in how you choose to respond to your circumstances.  Every moment, I choose to respond with happiness and love.  It’s the only way to go!

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Many years ago I was involved in the life of a child. Her parents found my ad in the local paper to do babysitting. That was before we transitioned into “home daycare”. The little princess was 15 months old.

Her mother would bring her over in the afternoons on her way to work and her father would pick her up in the evening on his way home. She was dressed in pretty pink frilly outfits whenever she arrived. At fifteen months, she didn’t yet have any language abilities.

At some point when she was 3 or 4 her parents went through a divorce. By that time she was firmly a part of our household and I did my best to shield her from the chaos going on at home.

When it was all said and done, her father ended up with custody. He had really stepped up to the plate and now he’d won. After all the crises and all the chaos, suddenly there was peace. And he had full responsibility for this beautiful little girl and little or no idea what to do next.

We had more than a few conversations about parenting. On his birthday the next year, I gathered up a stack of articles about how to be a good parent and gave them to him as a gift. I won’t write in here what his response to that was. Suffice it to say it wasn’t pretty. But he read them.

The most important lesson for me during that time was a catch phrase that I used to convey to him the importance of his role. I had trouble finding something that would get his attention and finally I hit on it during a conversation.

Sometimes we get too busy with our lives and forget the basic parts of parenting. Sometimes we turn into “The Boss” and just order them around. But, if you remember this catch phrase when dealing with your children, your friends or spouses….. it may help you to head off disasters:

“Kids are like Railroad crossings, truly. Make sure you STOP, LOOK, AND LISTEN”

You’re Gonna Miss This

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Sometimes it seems as though I’m spinning my wheels. The scenery never changes, I don’t seem to be moving forwards or backwards. I feel like I’m working hard and yet staying in the same spot.

It’s discouraging. It’s frustrating. And sometimes, it’s because I’m just not paying attention to the signs of progress.

I’ve made it a point, lately, to check in on the subtle details that I use as indicators of progress. Today is friday and there is a little money in the bank. Not perfect, but better than before.

My yard has a few branches in it again this morning. There was a wicked storm last night, buffeting the trees and snatching those branches that were weak and tossing them into the grass. Sometimes I feel like one of those branches, being tossed around by the storm of life.

Sometimes I feel like the big oak, strong yet flexible enough to bend with the storm and then work my way back to good.

Today I’m like the oak and I see progress. There’s a little money in the bank. There’s a list of prospects interested in buying what I’m selling. I saw the results last night of months of work to benefit a child in my world.

My mind is reeling with the possibilities of what I can accomplish when I really focus. For today, I will focus on the progress – however small those indicators may be. The scenery is changing slightly, my wheels have landed on semi-solid ground.

I will no longer discount even the smallest of indicators. When you’re climbing a mountain, the top of it may be obscured for a very long time. But, if you keep pushing upwards, you’ll reach one small peak, then another, then another.

I will relish those small peaks, as they are an indication that I am closer to my goals. I will give them the applause that they deserve. I will appreciate the progress. however small it may seem in the moment. Every step I take will lead me closer to my goal.

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